teaching

so i made it to student teaching. it is wonderful and even more than i could imagine it being. I love everything about it, except the lesson plans; the kids and school are all to my liking. i am cooking shrimp for dinner tonight and Andrew is coming over. as you can tell, i am severely lacking adequate sleep, and need to get some of that soon. that is all.

problem

The solution to a problem can only be found after one identifies that there is a problem to be had. Two of my very close friends are currently experiencing this in the heart-wrenching way. I am the type of person, as I'm sure I mentioned before, that has the internal drive to help others and take care of them in their times of need, so of course I offered my aid in any way that I could. But one can only offer so much help before the people you are assisting begin to suspect that you have some self-serving reason for help in the first place. I truly have no such interior motive. But the solution to this problem is keenly displeasing to both parties involved. Does that make my intent on helping them any better or worse, when I know the solution, which has been activated, and it is hurtful to the internal and external form of the people? Eventually, yes, it is going to be better, however the here and now of the situation is tireingly accute, espescilly being in the position I am in.

New semester, new apartment

This is it, this is the end. My last semester of college is upon me, waiting to be taken down and forgotten. It amazes me that the proceeding semester seemed stressful setting all to straights for this one, but now it is ready and starting and I don't know what to do with myself. Of course I have the inevitable "planning for my future" to deal with, but not for another month and a half. As of now I am perfectly content to sit here at my recently acquired desk and observe the heavy snow as it coats the ground and trees. I have come to love Edinboro, besides the fact that I have only been here two and one half years. Undoubtably, I am proud of myself for completing my degree in three years, totaling 6 semesters, when it takes most the stated 4 years or more even. It is a small sort of achievement, I suppose. My mother seems not to understand what sort of accomplishment this is, or even that it is one at all. My dear father on the other hand praises me endlessly for it, well as close to praise as my family can get. You see, praise in my home often goes something like this: "You have moved through college quickly, which will look good on a resume, but I fear the lack of extra-curricular activities will hold you back." It is a double edged sword always; you may have done this right, but this still needs improvement. It is a game, a test, a business arrangement with a new goal always in sight.

This brings me back to the place I am now, sitting here and watching the snow. A small sort of achievement for me, to be letting all my work sit by while I am engaged in an action that will not improve my person or standing at all.