thoughts.

On average I get depressed at least once a day. Something hits me and sparks feelings that run rampant until I can find something to distract myself with. On occasion it is more like 2 or 3 times a day. Today, for the simple reason of the day starting off on the wrong foot, was one of the more extreme days. I have considered quite a bit within the span of today and I had a very engaging conversation with a good friend of mine. This conversation consisted mainly of discussion of the topic surrounding my endless need for physical comfort. I crave it so badly it hurts. To prove a point, during our discussion, I reached over and put my hand on his knee. I felt instantly more calm. It was like someone had given me a sedative, except this little jolt I experienced in my upper chest, near my neck. I don't know why physical touch does this to me, I don't even know if anyone else has this problem, but I consistently run into problems when attempting to manage it. My friend said that I will go crazy the first time I sleep with someone, and I believe him.

But enough of this now, I must get to bed.