nope

I did not get the job... this is ok though. I will survive, I am sure. Today I really want to cuddle with someone in front of the tv watching star wars or something. Is this strange? nope, not for me! but instead I am sitting in my room, alone, writing in here and listening to bad rap music. I discovered rap this week, it is nice I suppose. Today was homecoming and I rode inside of a float. It was enjoyable and I was with friends. I then had salad for dinner. At the football game I was talking to a friend that has since graduated. She was asking me about classes and such and, in turn, I asked about her job searches. She asked me a question, I can't remember what, and I was having a hard time separating the answer I wanted to give her from the other stuff in my head so it took me a couple seconds and she asked if I was ok. I answered that, yes, I was but I was just having a foggy day and she replied "Abby, you are always like that" She then laughed and repeated the question which I spewed an appropriate answer to. This then preoccupied my thoughts for the remainder of the day. If she had noticed this "scattered" quality about me, does everyone notice it? Is this why I can't find a guy to have a relationship with? Am I just too scattered? You might say "well just be more focused" but it is not this simple, it is VERY difficult for me to think about one thing at a time. I think this is why I don't dream at night, my brain doesn't slow down enough. Dreaming is when your brain is only focused on that one thing, has nothing else to do, that is why dreams feel so real. My brain doesn't do that. I remember 2 dreams I have had and I was 12 years old for both. Weird? yes, it is.