another shoot...

So today I am doing another photo shoot. I really like the idea of the human body so I'm doing a shoot to document expressions. I hope it turns out all right! I'm kinda nervous about the way they are going to turn out. Other than that I still have 2 classes to try and schedule and the one teacher is insisting on not letting me override another because of a time conflict. I tried to tell her that this is my last semester for classes and that I am not going to be able to graduate if I don't take this class but she doesn't seem to think that this is important. I am so tired of no one caring that I might mot graduate when I want to. It gets really annoying when I tell them that I am graduating early and then they treat me like "well your already ahead so it doesn't matter if you have to stay longer, but valiant attempt though!" Then they dismiss me like a rejected puppy. But of course when I don't leave they start to realize that I am serious and that I am not about to give in. Once they see that I am actually an adult who knows what I am doing they ask why in the world I want to graduate a year early???? I answer the same every time - "because I can."

I was in the dining hall yesterday with my really good friend Steph, she is in a wheel chair so we sat at the tables that are taller for people in chairs. I should note that here at Edinboro we are the number one college for people with disabilities. We have a lot of people in manual wheel chairs and many in electric wheel chairs. Steph is in an electric one so i helped her get food. It is normal here to have friends who are in chairs but people who aren't used to that, like tour groups and such, sometimes find it as a surprise. Well anyway we were in the dining hall eating and another student comes in, also in a chair, and sits at the high tables. Edinboro provides workers to help the students eat that can't feed themselves. She parked at the table and immediately started to cry, softly at first and gaining momentum. Since she was sitting right behind Steph and I it caught me by surprise. One of the workers came over to comfort her and gave her a hug, but she continued to cry. The sound of her crying was one I will never forget. It didn't sound like a person with a normal voice since many of the OSD students have voice problems. It was a sound that I have never heard before in my years at Edinboro, and in all 19 years of my life. It reminded me of the cry my sister made when she called me to tell me that our dog had gotten hit by a car. The completely desperate sound of a person consumed by shear grief and passion. The sound of someone completely raw inside because all the hope had been scraped out. I didn't know the situation and I had no idea what could have cause such terror in a person to make such a sound but my heart still went out to her that day and I couldn't stop thinking about it the rest of the day. I admire so much, those friends of mine that are in chairs. They have so much courage to get up everyday and go on with life, to battle through ridicule, discrimination, misunderstanding and lack of trust from others. Steph is one of the most intelligent people I know yet most view her as nothing more than her chair. I have been wanting to write about my friends in chairs for a while but I didn't know how to go about it with out hurting one of their feelings. I know though that Steph is strong and that she will appreciate me spreading the word that those in chairs, no matter the disability, are just like you and me. They feel the same passion and hurt, the same joy and regret... the same as you and me. I love them all so much and I hope by writing this that those who before thought down on those in chairs will rethink and realize that we are all alike more than we know.